Since I’ve begun stand up comedy or any kind of thing in media, you always come across those bandwagon promoters that love to try and make a quick buck! Now, I’m not gonna be naming any names – those promoters breathe a sigh of relief, but if another one pops up, I’ll be naming and shaming them from now on!
Picture the scene, you go to work and you work hard, everyday, your boss recognises this and pulls you aside to give you a hand shake and say well done, you glow inside a little. Two days later, he pulls you aside again to ask you if you would like to take on another project, it’s for “charity” they can’t pay any extra, you probably won’t be noticed and it will bring in a hell of a lot of revenue off your back for someone else. Would you do it?!
Of course you wouldn’t! So I don’t understand promoters who like to put on so called “charity” gigs when the only charity they are really working for is themselves! Now I’m all for doing events for charity, we should all be willing to give a little, but we all have bills to pay.
When I get emails from someone I’ve never heard of, talking the billy big bazookas about some dinner and dance where most of the unknown media will be turning up, ALL profits are going to a worthwhile cause and apparently, if I’m not doing it, I’ll be “missing a big opportunity”. I kinda think, bitch please, it’s definitely a restaurant your cousin owns, with another cousin who wrote a blog once for promo and the worthwhile cause will be your pocket. I would rather someone contacted me and said, look I want to do a comedy night and have no idea about it, would you be interested in being involved –YES!
Sometimes these promoters get past the alarms, the suspicious and I turn up to such events. Obviously, ticket sales are non-existent, because nobody out side his/her family knows about the event. It turns out to be some awkward family reunion which you are supposed to perform in the middle of. I can simply do that at home every night with my own family!
At the end of the night, you have the whole speech about “Bruv, if only there were more people, there would be more money, I’m losing a lot of money tonight yeh, can you please help me out brother?! I wanted this to be a great night! You get meh?!” Hold on a second. 1. You agreed to a price you idiot, don’t try and cut me down when you can’t pay. 2. You’re losing money?! I thought this was for charity, you mean the kids are losing money?!? and 3. It would’ve been a great night had you followed some advice and actually PROMOTED your night! How are people supposed to turn up to something they don’t know is happening?! Put some work into it. We all work hard!
What I’m trying to say is, it’s not easy putting on an event, so please don’t expect it is. You wouldn’t expect to work for free at your job, so please, don’t expect us to do this. We all need to live. So the next time your boss comes up to and says “Look bruv, we ain’t made enough money dis month, can you help a brother out?!” Just think! Be up front with what you’re working with. We can all get along. Ok rant over for now…