Ah Diwali, the time of year where men show off their sexual prowess through the lighting of fireworks and women show that they can cook a mean pakora! Yep, that’s the outline of the event yesterday.

Why is it that the guys in the family find it beside art to have the bigger, louder and brighter firework. I’m not sure fireworks are what they used to be, but with the pop up shops selling “buy one get one free” fireworks which essentially do the same thing, you end up watching other peoples fireworks thinking “why can’t ours be like that?!“. Maybe it’s a trick of the light? Maybe your fireworks look like their fireworks but from a distance?! Nevertheless, it doesn’t stop the men from competing and separating themselves from the boys!

My Dad, not to be undone, went out and purchased £120 worth of fireworks! £120?! Did he think it was new years, well for some it was! But I don’t see why lighting the same type of firework over and over could be remotely fun, on top of which it was me who was out in the rain and cold lighting them, whilst everyone watched from the warmth of indoors, not forgetting the Indian TV channel!

Now, I don’t mind people, I very much like people, but why would you turn up to someone’s house unannounced?! Those kind of people I do not like, some of them even invite themselves:

Person: Are you going to invite me to your house for Diwali?
Hyde: Erm, no!
Person: But it’s the festival of giving and sharing.
Hyde: Erm, no, it’s the festival of lights, here’s a candle, share it.

The above actually happened!

A big Happy Diwali to everyone who celebrated yesterday. I did, with a few others too, not just on my own. Hope you all had fun!

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